My wife and I have had our fair share of disagreements around money. Some of those disagreements have helped us develop a new sense of understanding and empathy for each other … and some have pushed us into marriage counseling.
Either way, money has been a challenge for us. And evidently according to our guest today, we are not alone. To help us explore how money can challenge relationships, I’ve invited Author Scott Rick to the show today.
Scott is a marketing professor at the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business. He holds a PhD in Behavioral Decision Research from Carnegie Mellon University, where he was a National Science Foundation graduate research fellow. His first book, Tightwads and Spendthrifts: Navigating the Money Minefield in Real Relationships, was published earlier this year.
Overview: Tightwads and Spendthrifts w/ Scott Rick
Scott Rick reviews the following:
- What are tightwads and spendthrifts
- Why our differences matter in marriage
- Ways to find better harmony and happiness regarding marriage and money
Where to Listen or Watch
Key Takeaways from Scott Rick
Here are my top three takeaways from my conversation with Scott Rick.
We Fall Into What We Saw
Scott made some interesting observations through his research. Our childhood can shape our views on money – our interest in saving, spending and everything in between.
We need to recognize these biases or core beliefs especially as we seek common ground in marriage and money conversations.
Opposites Attract
Scott made the point that when we’re dating, we tend to seek out people who are different than us. This can be attractive!
If we’re loose and wild and free with our money, then having someone stable and detailed feels good.
The opposite can be true too. If we’re a tightwad, then marrying a spendthrift sounds fun!
Then when we get married and get serious about our everyday lives, we revert to our original ways of being. And we say … “Hey, you’re doing this all wrong! Be more like me! Loosen up a bit, be more like me.” Or … “You need to be better at saving and investing money, be more like me!”
If this sounds like your relationship, it’s important to recognize this. That way, you can approach conversations around money with more empathy and understanding.
Learn From Your Partners’ Viewpoint
This whole tightwad and spendthrift idea is a funny one. They are both playful, goofy names for our general tendencies with money. And they are both extremes as well.
The reality is that we can be both a saver and a spender. This idea more than likely lives on a spectrum. And we can change positions on that spectrum of saver and spender over time.
Being flexible with how you manage your money, listening to your partner's point of view and learning from them can be a smart way to grow in your relationship together.
Getting on the same page financially can be an excellent starting place. Check out our top budget apps for families and make time for money conversations.
Guest Bio – Scott Rick
Scott Rick is an Associate Professor of Marketing at the University of Michigan's Ross School of Business. Rick received his PhD in Behavioral Decision Research from Carnegie Mellon in 2007, and he then spent two years as a post-doctoral fellow at Wharton. Rick's research focuses on understanding the emotional causes and consequences of consumer financial decision-making, with a particular interest in the behavior of tightwads and spendthrifts. The overarching goal of his work is to understand when and why consumers behave differently than they should behave (defined by an economically rational benchmark, a happiness-maximizing benchmark, or by how people think they should behave), and to develop marketing and policy interventions to improve consumers' decision making and well-being.
Rick has published in marketing, psychology, management, neuroscience, and economics journals, including the Journal of Consumer Research, the Journal of Marketing Research, the Journal of Consumer Psychology, Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, the Annual Review of Psychology, and Neuron. His research has been covered by media outlets such as the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Financial Times, the Washington Post, NPR, and Harvard Business Review. At Ross, he has won awards for both research and teaching.
He is the author of Tightwads and Spendthrifts: Navigating the Money Minefield in Real Relationships, available in January 2024 from St. Martin’s Press.
Carpe Diem Quote:
“To maintain a balanced emotional ecology you need to make an effort—think about your spouse during the day, think about how to make a good thing even better, and act.”
John Gottman
What do you think of our discussion with Scott Rick? Do you think of yourself more as a tightwad or spendthrift?
Please let us know in the comments below.
